


Lux Second

by callantry



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Fire Nation (Avatar), M/M, Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar)-centric, Trans Sokka (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, background gaang, some water nation lore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25094914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callantry/pseuds/callantry
Summary: The Gaang visit the Fire Nation before the summer solstice, and Zuko invites Sokka to Ember Island.[this fic is officially ON HIATUS. sorry. read at your own risk]
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 170





	1. From One Friend to Another

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfic in a l o n g time and this is also my first attempt at an atla fic. not entirely sure how long this will turn out. hope you enjoy!
> 
> (physics nerd here: 'lux second' is the unit of luminous exposure)

As dinner finishes, Zuko glances at Sokka, and nods towards the double doors of the dining room.

Sokka’s brows furrow. He knows Zuko is asking to take a walk around the grounds, which isn’t an unusual request when Sokka visits. Zuko usually asks with words, though.

“Dessert, my lord?” a servant clearing the fire lord’s plate asks.

“Not for me,” Zuko says. “Although if my friends would like some, please oblige them.”

“Yes!” Aang exclaims. He glances at Katara, who nods.

“I’m not going to pass that up,” says Toph.

“Are there fire flakes?” asks Sokka.

“Sokka,” Zuko says in a lower tone, looking at him intently.

Sokka sighs. “Nevermind, the fire lord would prefer to deprive me of his favorite snack.”

Zuko rolls his eyes and stands up from the table. Waiting for Sokka, he tells his servant, “Going for a walk through the gardens if you need to find me.”

“Of course, my lord.” The servant bows.

The boys walk amongst the palace gardens as the sun is setting. Zuko lights lanterns as they pass through. “We can stop by the kitchen later if you really want some fire flakes,” he says.

“I was going to do that with or without you,” Sokka says, grinning. “What was it you wanted, anyway?”

“I was going to ask,” Zuko begins, “if you wanted to come to Ember Island. For the solstice.”

Sokka looks off into the distance, thoughtful. “I think we could fit it into our schedule. We have a few buffer days, which are always necessary when providing escort to the Avatar.” He looks to Zuko, expecting a laugh, or at the least, a small smile. But the fire lord remains solemn.

“I’m not–” Zuko starts. He pauses, thinking about how to choose his words. “It’s not the Avatar and his escort that I am asking.”

Sokka holds the fire lord’s gaze, waiting.

“The invitation is for you, Sokka,” Zuko states. “Just you.”

Sokka nods. “A request, or a summons, by the young fire lord?” He attempts a light tone, but the ribbing comes out too serious.

Zuko’s face falls a little, and his pace slows. “An invitation,” he repeats. “From one friend to another.”

“I was kidding,” Sokka says. “I’ll talk to everyone about it. I’m sure they can do without me for a while. They’re only two of the most powerful benders I know, and the Avatar.”

Zuko shakes his head. “I should’ve known.” Sighing, he adds, “I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately.”

“Surely it’s not all that serious royal responsibility?” Sokka teases. “I don’t know why you wouldn’t be all smiles while working to restore honor to your nation.”

It’s been years since Zuko has seen Sokka. The Avatar and his escort don’t visit often, and when they do, Sokka is not always among them. Sometimes Aang is on his own, but usually he is at least accompanied by Katara. Toph tags along when she gets bored of the Earth Kingdom, and misses the worship treatment.

“How are things down South?” Zuko asks in the kitchen.

Sokka shrugs. “Same old,” he answers in between bites of fire flakes. “Dad’s in his element. He’s less involved on the frontlines, so to speak, but it’s about time.” His hand scrapes the bottom of the bag. “You don’t mind if I finish these, do you?”

“Not at all,” Zuko says. “Are you . . . are you to succeed your dad? When the time comes. I understand the water tribes govern a little differently than here or in the Earth Kingdom.”

“It’s not formalized,” Sokka says, “but I always expected that to be the case. But with the war over, and many more capable people returned home, it may not turn out to be that way.”

“Who decides?” Zuko asks.

“A council,” Sokka says. “The Blue Moon council. It’s not a stagnant thing. Only forms when necessary. A tribe leader dead, or obviously dying. There are representatives: a healer, a warrior, at least two elders, and someone from the Northern Water Tribe, circumstances permitting.”

“And they chose the next leader?” Zuko says. “Just a matter of opinion?”

“There hasn’t been a Blue Moon council in my lifetime,” Sokka says. “So I don’t know. I think the tribe leader can nominate someone. Maybe the other members of the council, too. Don’t really get to see these things during wartime. The tribe shifted to a more survival based existence, obviously.”

“Right,” Zuko says softly.

“What’s your interest, anyway?” Sokka asks. “Surely you have academics and ambassadors to tell you all about these things.”

“Just wondering,” Zuko said. “Didn’t want to invite you on a trip that would be taking you away from important duties.”

Sokka laughs. “Sure. Well, at least you’re self-aware. You do need a break from this political stuff.” He offers the bag of fire flakes to Zuko.

“There’s only crumbs in here,” Zuko says.

“Oops.” Sokka doesn’t bother to put any effort towards a convincing act.

Zuko burns the bag in a short burst of flame over the metal kitchen island. “Oops,” he echoes.

“Still got a flair for a dramatic,” Sokka remarks. “How long is this trip to Ember Island, anyway?”

Zuko hasn’t thought that far ahead. “A couple weeks.”

“Okay,” Sokka says, nodding. “I’ll talk to everyone in the morning.”

“Care for a drink?” Zuko asks. He’s not tired at all, and he’s hoping Sokka isn’t either. “Not that we have to drink here. We can move to my room.”

“You know I love Fire Nation wine,” Sokka says.

In the fire lord’s chambers, Zuko pulls a bottle of wine and two glasses out of a small cabinet. “Balcony?” he asks.

Sokka knows it isn’t really a question. It’s Zuko’s favorite drinking spot, specifically at night. Sokka doesn’t know if Zuko really shares this spot with much of anyone. It seems to be a place of hidden contemplation, a place Zuko can retreat to when his fire lord duties have finished for the day. Not a real escape, but the best he can manage in his own palace.

On the balcony, Zuko pours the glasses. They sit in silence. Sokka gazes out beyond the palace walls, to the flickering lights of the capital city.

“Does your uncle visit often?” Sokka finds himself asking.

“Not really,” Zuko says. “I made him an offer last time he was here. Said he could set up shop anywhere in the city. Just point to the building he wants, and it’s his.” He pauses, and takes a sip of his wine. “He didn’t want that, though. Said he’s happy where he is. Has regulars and all that. Ba Sing Se is his home now.”

Sokka stares at his glass, unsure of what to say.

“It sounds nice,” Zuko continues. “Leaving the Fire Nation behind. Building a quiet new life. I said that life wasn’t for me. Said it out of a sense of duty to my nation.” He looks to Sokka. “You understand, right? Surely, you feel something similar towards the Southern Water Tribe.”

“Yeah,” Sokka says slowly. “But . . . I also had a home I wanted to return to. A home with my dad. Rebuilding I wanted to help with. It wasn’t just duty. I wanted to be there, with my people.”

“This is my home,” Zuko says.  
Sokka sighs. “But what about your family? I mean . . . not that you want your family around. Besides your uncle. But do you have people here?”

Zuko laughs, but it’s not happy laughter. “Sure. I have my advisors, and my teachers. And Mai doesn’t hate me. Nor does Ty Lee.”

“Zuko,” Sokka says.

The fire lord does not meet his eyes. “Traveling with you, and Aang, and everyone. That was . . .” He trails off.

Sokka waits.

“It was the closest thing to what family is supposed to feel like, I think,” Zuko says. “Besides the time I spent with my uncle.”

“I miss it sometimes,” Sokka says.

Zuko’s gaze snaps to him. “Do you?”

Sokka nods as a cool gust of wind cuts across the balcony. He shivers.

“You’re cold,” Zuko says, and before Sokka can respond, the fire lord moves closer. He lays a hand, palm up, on Sokka’s leg, and produces a small flame.

“Thanks,” Sokka murmurs. He thinks about how he will break the change in plans to others. Katara will probably be upset, but she reacts that way to any separation since the war. It can’t be helped, Sokka thinks, looking at his friend, the fire lord. Zuko seems almost content for the first time since their arrival.

“Wait, I never asked about Suki,” Zuko says suddenly. “How is she?”

“Okay, I think,” Sokka says. When Zuko gives him a side eye, he adds, “We broke up a while ago.”

“Really?” Zuko asks. “But you had been together for so long.”

“Almost three years,” Sokka states flatly. “Distance was a big issue. She doesn’t want to leave the Kyoshi warriors. And I don’t want to leave my tribe. We kept arguing over that. Because if we ever were to marry, one of us would have to leave our home.”

“Oh.” Zuko is quiet for a moment. Carefully, he asks, “You were considering it? Leaving home, I mean.”

“In the abstract, yeah, I was,” Sokka admits. “But the reality of it felt. . . not daunting, exactly. More that it would be the wrong choice. For me.”

“I see,” Zuko says.

They sit in silence for a while longer. Zuko concentrates on keeping the small flame going, and not that contact with Sokka has been sustained for so long. Eventually, Sokka finishes his glass of wine and bids Zuko goodnight.

The fire lord sits outside by himself, his own glass of wine still half full. He tries not to think about the last time his advisor requested to speak with him, and how she brought up marriage. Zuko tried to shut down the conversation by telling her that he is still young, and has a lot of work to do before he can think about such things.


	2. Observer Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko watches Sokka paint. Aang lays out all his observations to Sokka.

Sokka tells Katara first. Not that it’s his choice, exactly. She’s nosy.

“Why did Zuko want to talk to you after dinner?” She asks. She’s sitting at the end of his bed.

He rubs his eyes. “Good morning to you, too.”

“You disappeared after dinner!”

'What the fire lord wants, the fire lord gets,” Sokka mumbles. More clearly, he states, “Zuko asked me to go on a trip with him to Ember Island. For the solstice.”

Katara frowns. “Like he used to go with his family?”

Sokka hadn’t thought about that the night before. “I guess,” he says.

“Wait,” Katara says. “The solstice is in a couple weeks.” 

Sokka nods.

“You’re supposed to be traveling with us,” she says. “We’re supposed to be in the Earth Kingdom then.”

“Guess you’ll have to find a way to manage without me,” Sokka says, struggling not to yawn. 

“You already agreed to go?” Katara asks. “Without talking to me about it?”

“You just said it yourself,” Sokka shoots back. “That he used to go with his family. Am I supposed to say no to that? It’s not like he has much of anyone else.”

“He’s the fire lord,” she says. “He could bring anyone.”

Sokka shakes his head. “Zuko doesn’t have a lot of people.”

“He’s the fire lord,” Katara says again, “and it’s been nearly four years since the war ended.”

“And?” Sokka says. “We all know him. He’s not exactly a charmer.”

“Whatever,” Katara says. She concedes earlier than Sokka thought she would. “So, are you just staying here until the trip then?”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” he says. “I’ll travel with you all long enough to see Toph’s family, and then I’ll circle back.”

Katara’s face softens in relief. “Oh, good.”

“What?” Sokka asks.

“Nothing,” Katara says, but she ends up elaborating anyway. “I thought he might’ve offered for you to stay.”

Sokka looks at her in wordless confusion. “It’s almost time for breakfast,” Katara says as she stands up. “Don’t go back to sleep.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Sokka mutters, and he pulls himself out of bed.

After breakfast, they all plan to head into town. Everyone except Zuko, that is. 

“Care to join us?” Toph asks the fire lord.

Zuko shakes his head. “I’d just slow you down.”

“Why?” Aang asks.  
Zuko gestures to the palace walls around them. “Have to take a royal guard. It’s odd to see the fire lord out on foot, anyway.”

“What about a disguise?” the Avatar suggests.

“My scar is very distinctive,” Zuko says. “People know my face now. Much better than before.”

“Oh, right,” Aang says.

“Your faces all look the same to me,” Toph says. 

Sokka sighs. “That never gets old.” He glances to the fire lord. “We’ll be back by midday?”

“Sokka, we can take care of it,” Katara interjects.

“What?” he says.

“We’ll get everything we need,” she says. “And we can figure out if we’re leaving a day or two earlier once we get back from errands. Okay?”

“Uh, sure,” Sokka says. Looking to Zuko, he shrugs. Turning back to Katara, he says, “You have the list?”

She pulls a small scroll from her bag. “Of course.” 

Once Katara, Aang and Toph have left, Sokka asks, “How do you spend your days, then?”

Zuko smiles. “My schedule is a bit more clear when I am expecting to entertain guests.”

“So, we can do anything?”

“Anything inside the palace grounds,” Zuko says.

“Right.” Sokka thought that went without saying. 

Zuko’s eyes light up. “Hey,” he says. “How long has it been since you painted?”

Sokka shakes his head, laughing. “On paper? Not since I trained with the sword master.”  
“On paper?” Zuko echoes.

“Face painting,” Sokka says, and Zuko nods in understanding.

The morning is a quiet one. Zuko leads Sokka to a room he’s never shown him before, his royal study. Or as he prefers to think of it, a studio. It’s off of his personal library (separate from the palace library) and overlooks the palace gardens. He opens a cabinet to show Sokka the painting supplies.

Sokka pauses for a moment. “You want me to paint?”

“If you want,” Zuko says. “Just wanted to show you what was available to you. I know it’s not always easy to get your hands on the proper supplies.”

Sokka nods. “Are you going to paint?”

Zuko shakes his head. “I wanted to read,” he says. “My uncle sends me stories from the Earth Kingdom. Sometimes I can’t get through them all that quickly.” The fire lord then calls for tea for both of them.

Sokka takes out paper and some paints. If Zuko only wanted to read, then he could have let them all go shopping. Sokka considers the fire lord’s choices, and then decides to meditate on that later. Zuko is right– paints can be hard to find, and art supplies are far from necessary when travelling. He hasn’t painted in a long time, much less thought about making time for such an activity. 

They sit quietly, less than ten feet apart. Zuko looks up every so often to catch glimpses of Sokka painting. He can’t see what Sokka is working on, but he admires the concentration creasing Sokka’s expression, and the ginger manner in which Sokka holds the paintbrush. A careful swordsman understands his tools as an extension of his being. 

Zuko stops sneaking glances when Sokka breaks his focus to sip some tea.

“Whatcha lookin’ at, fire lord?” Sokka asks, cracking a small grin.

“A painter who was forced to become a warrior first,” Zuko says.

“Don’t flatter me,” Sokka mutters, and returns to his work. 

When Katara, Aang and Toph return, Sokka learns that his sister has informed everyone of the reason for the change in plans. Aang catches Sokka after lunch when Zuko is in a meeting.

“Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Sokka frowns. “Something serious?”

Aang shrugs, a small smile on his face. “Depends.”

“On what?” Sokka folds his arms, waiting.

“On . . .” the Avatar draws out his answer. “Zuko.”

Sokka sighs and rubs his temple. “Katara said something?” When Aang nods in confirmation, Sokka nods towards the nearest exit. “I’m not talking about this here. Courtyard, or the gardens, or somewhere.”

“Okay,” Aang says, a mischievous grin wide on his face now. He airbends out of the palace, straight to the heart of the gardens. Sokka takes his time following, trying to guess exactly what Katara had said, and why Aang still hasn’t learned how to be subtle about these sorts of things. Not that he would learn from being around Katara or Toph. 

Sokka finds Aang sitting cross-legged under a tree, and he sits down facing the Avatar. 

“Katara said that Zuko likes you,” Aang begins. He isn’t looking at Sokka as he continues. “It surprised me when she said it, but I was thinking about it on the way back from the market. It makes a lot of sense. He always makes sure to spend time with you when you visit– just you. And now he’s inviting you to travel with him? Just him? When has that happened, since you guys did that whole prison break at Boiling Rock? Also, he would always ask about you. I mean, about the Southern Water Tribe, and Katara, if she wasn’t with me when I visited, but he always mentioned you by name, too. Not that it’s weird because we’re all friends, but it’s not like he always asked about Toph when he would bring up the Earth Kingdom. And Katara figured you must’ve told him that you and Suki broke up, even though it’s been a while since that happened, because you used to travel a lot to see and travel with Suki, and that’s why you wouldn’t come with me and Katara at times. Not that you would have had to, but that’s part of why you didn’t visit the Fire Nation with us very much. And Zuko doesn’t really travel because he needs to be here. Anyway, he asked you to go with him to Ember Island, and you’re going. So, you must like him, too.” 

When Aang finally looks at him, Sokka sees that the last statement is not a question in the slightest. “Mhm,” Sokka says, nodding reluctantly. “Very observant, Avatar. Once my sister pointed it out to you, that is.”

“Are you excited?” Aang asks. “And how was hanging out this morning?”

“It was nice,” Sokka says, dodging the first question. “Zuko brought out painting supplies.”

Aang’s eyes widen. “You painted together? That’s adorable.”

“No, I painted,” Sokka says. “Zuko read.”

“He remembered you like to paint,” Aang says. “Katara said he always thinks of details she doesn’t expect him to remember.”

“If Katara thinks so,” Sokka says. 

“But are you excited?” Aang asks again. “Ember Island. With Zuko.”

Sokka bites his lip. “Could get complicated.”

“Doesn’t seem that complicated to me,” Aang says.

“Of course it doesn’t,” mutters Sokka.


	3. Entangled States

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody talks, everybody talks, everybody talks too much. (Everybody being Zuko & Sokka)
> 
> Drinks on the balcony again.

Sokka is more than willing to let things play out as slowly as possible. He has yet to explain to Aang exactly why he and Suki broke up. How could he? After all Aang did for him. Sokka told Katara, of course. At the time, he figured she might have told Aang. Now he realizes she hasn’t, and probably won’t. 

_Ultimately, I want children_ . _And we both know that can’t happen the way we would want._ Suki’s decisive words rang out in his ears again. This statement had arrived despite many long, labored conversations. After all, they loved each other. Maybe they still do love one another, but Sokka can’t be sure anymore. Everything still hurts, and he doesn’t wish to see Suki anytime soon.

He can’t find the words to tell Aang that even after journeying to find the spirits that were able to change aspects of his body– what a selfish, material desire, the power of the spirits had limits, humans always _wanted_ so much beyond their grasp– that it ultimately wasn’t enough. Not for Suki, anyway. Sokka used to be certain it was enough for him, more than he had ever dreamed possible. The doubts are brought to the surface by others. 

He trusts Zuko enough, he decides. And if not, he’ll return south, and perhaps take the path people seem to expect of him. If the Blue Moon Council allows it. 

Predictably, Zuko invites Sokka on another walk after dinner. Sokka asks him about his afternoon, and listens as Zuko tells him about further steps being taken in the Fire Nation reparations. Aang is here on business, not that anyone could tell. Zuko describes the plans he and Aang have been discussing. 

“We have been downsizing the military since the war ended,” Zuko says, his tone somewhat resigned. “It’s a slow process. Honestly, I’d like to do away with it completely, but I’ve been told that’s unrealistic. Not by Aang, but the leaders of most of the provinces don’t seem too keen on the idea, yet. Because a lot of people are out of work.” Zuko pauses, glancing at Sokka. “Am I boring you? I don’t have to talk about this. It’s just recent, and on my mind. Especially since Aang wants to leave tomorrow evening.”

“No, not at all,” Sokka says. As if Zuko could bore him. “I can’t imagine what doing political business with Aang is like.”

“Isn’t that basically all you guys did?” Zuko asks. “Mastering the elements is political business, I would imagine.”

Sokka shrugs. “Sure,” he says, “but it wasn’t as formal. You certainly remember.”

Zuko lets out a small laugh. “Of course,” he says. “Speaking of which, the idea is that restoration of the Air Temples is something the Fire Nation could help with.”

“Does Aang want that?” Sokka finds himself asking.

“I know it sounds politically dicey, but he’s on board,” Zuko says. “Aang actually objected to the idea the least. We have the means to get there, and many people who thought their work was stable, for lack of better phrasing, that are now looking for ways to provide for their families.”

“What about–” Sokka begins, then wonders how to phrase his question. He tries again. “I mean, the reparations make sense. I want to make that clear. But other nations have objected to Fire Nation's presence in proposals for reparations and rebuilding. The Air Temples don’t really have a people to object. Or a people to inhabit the temples, exactly.”

“Not all of the temples are empty,” Zuko says. “I want the people of the Fire Nation to understand exactly what our ancestors– very recent ancestors– did, and exactly what my father was aiming to do with the waterbenders. They need to see it, and they need to understand that destruction is not all we are capable of.”

Sokka nods. He wonders if he could make such calls. Not that the Southern Water Tribe would put him in the position that Zuko inherited, but decisions on that scale. He’s getting ahead of himself, though. It’s not a birthright thing. 

Zuko sees Sokka’s gaze grow distant for a moment. “I think that’s enough political talk,” he says. “I’m getting tired of hearing myself talk about it, anyway. Care for a drink?”

“Was wondering how long it’d take you.” Sokka elbows Zuko in the ribs, gently. He turns, leading the way out of the gardens. “Balcony?”

“Where else?” Zuko says. He follows Sokka, amused. When they get to Zuko’s quarters, Zuko asks, “Not leading the way anymore?”

Sokka rolls his eyes playfully. “What would you prefer, fire lord?”

Zuko shrugs. “You know where the wine is,” he says, and walks out to the balcony. 

Sokka looks at the doorway and shakes his head. Zuko’s not wrong. Sokka finds the wine, pours two glasses, and puts the bottle away. Stepping out onto the balcony, he holds up one glass and asks, “This enough for you?”

“Oh, thank the spirits,” Zuko mutters, and takes the glass. “Yes,” he says more clearly. “I can’t stand it when you refer to me by title. It feels strange.”

“As you wish, my fire lord,” Sokka says. As he sits down, he glances at Zuko.

“I’m not your fire lord,” Zuko says. “Technically.” His heart skips a beat. Why did he have to say it like that?

“Thought you were done with political talk,” Sokka shoots back. 

Zuko sips his wine to hide his relief. “Logistics, then?” he suggests.

“Leaving tomorrow evening,” Sokka states. “Night travelling is easier on Appa. We’re heading to Gaoling, first. Stay there for five days, maybe a week. When Aang, Katara and Toph head for Ba Sing Se, I’ll head back here. Aang also talked about flying me back here if your reparations plans aren’t finalized. How’s that sound?”

“Perfect,” Zuko says. “We’ll have a few days to prepare before we depart.”

Sokka pretends that hearing Zuko use ‘we’ in a mundane way doesn’t affect him. “It’s a plan then.”

They sit quietly for a while, watching the sun set.

“You’re going to be up all night tomorrow,” Zuko says.

“And?” Sokka asks.

“You need to sleep,” Zuko states.

“Are you telling me to leave, fire lord?” Sokka says dryly. 

“No,” Zuko says, a little too quickly. “I just. . . don’t want to deprive you of necessary rest.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Sokka says. “I’ll leave once I finish this glass of wine, okay?” He holds up his barely touched wine.

“Fine,” Zuko says, shaking his head. 

Sokka makes a point to nurse his drink very slowly. Zuko notices, but doesn’t send him away. “Hey,” Sokka says, “what do you want? Out of life. I’m not asking the fire lord, by the way, so don’t give me any political stuff.”

Typically, Zuko doesn’t care for this sort of question. It’s a hypothetical he won’t get to have, a life where no one knows him, where he gets to choose where to live and what he wants to do. But it feels different coming from Sokka. “Why do you ask?” Zuko says. “I can give you an answer, but I don’t really daydream about a life I can’t live.”

“Understandable,” Sokka says. There’s something in his tone that Zuko can’t quite read. A bitterness that lasts barely a second. “Let’s hear your answer though, and then I’ll answer your question.”

“I think,” Zuko begins, trying to find words, “that I would want to live with my uncle. Or near him. And I want a family, but–”

Sokka glances away, hoping Zuko doesn’t catch the grimace he didn’t intend to show. Luckily, Zuko seems more concerned with trying to figure out how to say what he wants to say.

“It’s important to me that I would have a partner I trusted–”

“Of course, that’s critical,” Sokka says. His gaze snaps back to Zuko. “What kind of relationship would it be if it didn’t have trust?”

Zuko holds Sokka’s gaze. “Like not a strategic marriage,” he says. “Not a political move. Something organic in that–” Zuko breaks off again. Why can’t he phrase anything right? He wants Sokka to understand.

“In that?” Sokka echoes, waiting.

“Not like my parents,” he says. “I want my partner to trust me, and to be able to trust them. And then there’s the idea that I need an heir, or the throne passes to Azula next. I don’t want to have kids just to produce an heir. They deserve more than that.” His voice wavers, and drops a bit. “I don’t know how to separate what I want as Zuko, a person, from what I as the fire lord, ruler of the Fire Nation, want. All aspects of my life are political. I was born into that.”

Sokka puts his hand on Zuko’s arm before he can think about it. “Sorry,” he says, “I really didn’t think much when I asked. I’m probably projecting. Katara calls me out on it all the time.”

Zuko doesn’t move, if only for the fact that he doesn’t know what would prompt Sokka to move his hand away. “I don’t really talk about this stuff with anyone,” Zuko says. “And my advisor recently talked to me about marriage. Since I’m not dating anyone, she suggested that I consider a political marriage. It didn’t sit right with me, but I didn’t know why until I said all of that.”

“Happy to be of service,” Sokka says, smiling. 

“Knock it off.” The statement is stern, but there’s a grin on the fire lord’s face. “What’s all this projection business anyway?”

Sokka takes a sip of his wine, and the glass comes up empty. He dangles the empty glass in front of Zuko.

“Was that your escape plan?” Zuko asks, his tone light.

“No,” Sokka says. It does buy him time though, and he does not mind that. “I’ll answer. When I see you again, Master Fire Lord. It is. . . a bit complicated. To be determined.”

“Very specific of you, Sokka,” Zuko says. 

Sokka holds his gaze for a moment, biting his lip. No, it’s not quite the time. “On Ember Island, I’ll tell all,” he says. “That’s a promise.” 

“Specific and bold,” Zuko remarks. He waits for Sokka to stand, and when Sokka doesn’t move, he adds, “You also promised you would go to sleep once you finished that wine.”

Sokka nods. “I am a man of my word.” He stands and bows. Sokka enjoys performing formality when it annoys Zuko to no end.

“Go sleep,” Zuko mutters.

Sokka laughs, and finally takes his leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll get to Ember Island eventually, I promise. When I say slow build, I mean s l o w build. 
> 
> Trying to work out a more regular update schedule, but for now I am just posting as I am able.


	4. Parallel Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka can't sleep, even after traveling all night to the Earth Kingdom. Zuko wakes up too early.  
> We all ask ourselves, "What would Iroh do?" Prepare some tea, of course.

A breeze rolls through the window from the balcony. Sokka pulls the blanket over himself. It’s been like this all night. He gets too hot under the blanket, and then as soon as he takes the blanket off, a breeze blows through. There’s no point in closing any windows– it’s too hot for that. Maybe it’s the Gaoling climate, but he generally doesn’t have a problem with the Earth Kingdom climates. They’re far more mild than home. 

Sokka pulls himself out of bed. He’s been trying to fall asleep for hours, and there doesn’t seem to be a point to staying in bed. He wanders to the kitchen where he rummages in the cupboards, looking at all the food. Nothing appeals to him. Is he even hungry? Eventually he settles on a glass of water.

Maybe it’s not the broader environment, but the more immediate one. Earth Kingdom housing is too solid. Sokka knows that’s the whole point, but that doesn’t mean he likes being inside. At least Fire Nation architecture feels breathable. Fire doesn’t care to be contained, either. But if earth can build the structure, then is earth truly a container to earthbenders? Sokka is too tired for this. He doesn’t want to be awake. 

“Sokka.” He jumps as Toph’s voice rings out behind him, and spills his cup of water. “I knew it was you. Why are you awake?”

“Great,” Sokka mutters, picking up the cup. He grabs the nearest rag he can find and blots the spill. “If I knew why, then I would have figured out how to be asleep by now.”

“Want me to knock you out?” Toph asks.

“Worth a shot,” Sokka answers.

Toph punches him in the upper arm, gently. “Something on your mind?”

Sokka shakes his head. “Nothing more than usual.”

“Still moping about Suki?” she presses.

“No. I don’t want to get into it,” Sokka says, and he yawns. “I’m just tired, and if I were less tired, I could handle the sleep deprivation.”

“So this is just a thing that happens?” Toph asks.

“It’s a thing that’s happening now,” he snaps. As the words leave his mouth, he realizes he sounds like a teenager. For the sake of spirits, why hasn’t he been able to sleep?

Toph takes a few steps back towards the doorway of the kitchen. “I’m going to head back to bed,” she says. “But, if you want, there’s chamomile lavender tea on the shelf, from Iroh. He said he likes to drink it before bed.”

Sokka thanks her as she leaves. Making tea is a bit of a hassle with no firebender around, but it’s not like he’s got anything else to do. The longest part of making tea is waiting for the water to boil, but this whole night has been one eternity after another. He resigns himself to his fate of infinities, looking anywhere in the kitchen than at the kettle. Gazing out the open window, he realizes soon it will be dawn. The dark sky has a familiar teasing undercurrent that surrounded them when flying in yesterdawn. 

The swarm of thoughts that followed him as he had flown Appa remained still. Even Zuko was thinking about marriage. Obviously Sokka had picked up on the fire lord’s gender neutral word choice. It made sense with Katara’s belief that Zuko was interested in Sokka. But what he couldn’t pin down was the idea of an heir to the throne. Surely, Zuko would have to marry with that in mind, despite whatever misgivings he carried now. Whatever Zuko’s interest in Sokka may or may not be, it can’t last long.

Sokka shakes his head, the filter from mental to physical wearing down with his growing exhaustion. Vapor rises from the kettle spout. Sokka pours himself a cup, and extinguishes the stove embers with the excess water. He returns to his bedroom, where he lets the tea steep for too long.

Twilight begins to creep along the horizon. Sipping his tea slowly, Sokka considers that perhaps he should focus on enjoying this vacation with Zuko. These wild considerations of the future would not have existed in his mind only a few years ago, so why let them overtake his headspace now? Sokka blinks. It’s getting harder to keep his eyes open. 

This is what he wanted, though. Sokka sets his half-finished tea down on the floor and curls up on his side. Within seconds, he begins to snore.

Zuko awakens at dawn. It’s not the first time his body has decided to rise with the sun, but it’s become much less common with each passing year since the war ended. The fire lord hasn’t slept well since his friends left. That’s not new. Far from it, as the record shows. It’s an established pattern that Zuko sleeps worse the nights following the departure of his friends. The first time, Zuko wondered if his body was trying to tell him that he should have gone with them. Now he understands the physicality simply to be a manifestation of loneliness. His body knows he won’t see his friends at breakfast the next morning, that he will return to eating many of his meals alone. 

What is different about this interrupted sleep is that his thoughts surround a more concrete anxiety than usual. Why had he brought up marriage and children? Granted, Zuko had known since he was young that these sorts of expectations were placed upon the royal family. But to Sokka, of all people? The concern about who took the throne after him shouldn’t be a pressing matter. He wants to speak to his uncle, but that, too, feels selfish. He should be able to figure it out on his own. Or is that the weak notion? 

Instead, Zuko does what he watched Iroh do so many times for him: he makes tea. One of the first personal items Zuko requested was that he have his own cart with a teapot, cups, and a small variety of teas. A jug of water is changed out daily at minimum. The fire lord moves quietly. He doesn’t want any servants to realize he is awake, a state that means they could attend to him. He picks a cinnamon tea. Iroh would tell him it was the wrong season for cinnamon tea, but Zuko would remind him that seasonal rules don’t apply to one’s favorite tea. That was one of his uncle’s few rules about tea. Iroh’s rules, if any, usually applied to allowing oneself simple comforts. 

The fire lord warms his tea as he steps out onto the balcony. If Iroh were here, he would tell Zuko to clear his mind. Breathe in, hold, breathe out. Watch the sun as it rouses the city, people beginning to move about, another day arriving. Waft the vapor rising from the tea, then inhale to get the full body of the aroma. To sip slowly, notice the flavor (at this point Zuko almost always realized he had either under or over-steeped his tea). Listen, Iroh would say. The sun welcomes the day with light, the birds with song. Zuko finds his gaze drawn to the garden, scanning the ponds until he spots a family of turtleducks. He watches them fondly as he drinks his tea. 

Sokka sits in an igloo. From inside, he can’t tell where he is, but his gut says he’s not home. A fire burns brightly in front of him. It smells odd, like someone’s been burning herbs. Lavender? Before he can discern the intermingled scents, a voice rings out in his mind.

_You’re unhappy, child._

The voice sounds so familiar to Sokka, but he can’t place it. He looks around. There is no one in the igloo with him. 

_Was my gift to you insufficient?_

Ah, Sokka knows who the voice belongs to now. He’s dreaming. “No,” he answers, though he isn’t sure he has to speak aloud. 

_This is what you wanted._

“Yes,” he says. “And I am grateful. I know it was trivial to you, but it mattered a great deal to me.”

_I never called it trivial._

“Why have you brought me here?” Sokka asks. 

_You are not the first_ , the spirit answers. _And you aren’t the last. Humans believe themselves to be far more unique than they are._

Sokka isn’t certain of what to say to this. 

_When you seek answers, you may return to me._

“Physically?” Sokka says. The journey was long. He can’t remember exactly how he found them. If spirits do not care to be found, then they will not be found. Exceptions are made only to humans accompanied by the Avatar.

 _However you are able_. 

Great. “Got it,” Sokka says. Is he supposed to be able to will himself into the spirit world? Suddenly, the question is dispelled from his mind, and a great tranquility settles over him.

 _Rest._ The igloo grows almost fluid around him before it begins to disappear at various points. If Sokka dreams after this encounter, he does not remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arrival in Ember Island scheduled for next chapter, folks. I promise.


	5. Island Flux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka returns to the Fire Nation, and he and Zuko travel to Ember Island. What hides in the daylight comes out at dusk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no beta readers, we die like men
> 
> bit of a longer chapter than usual. hope y'all enjoy!

Zuko smiles when he spots Appa in the sky. The fire lord has been waking shortly after dawn, despite the knowledge of Sokka’s return. When they land, he’s waiting in the courtyard.

Aang hops down off of Appa. “Kinda hoped you’d be asleep,” he says. “Sokka’s really tired. He slept almost the whole way here.”

“Is that unusual?” Zuko asks.

The Avatar shrugs. “He didn’t sleep well the first couple nights after we got to Toph’s.”

“Then you both need to rest.” The fire lord calls to his servants to guide the Avatar and a groggy Sokka to their respective rooms. 

It’s a quiet day. With his schedule cleared and his friends sleeping, he retreats to his study. Zuko finishes the short stories his uncle has sent him. The most recent collection included something new, a story that Iroh seemingly composed himself. His uncle transcribes most of the stories he sends to Zuko, which provides only the slightest doubt. (The author is anonymous, but the contents are a dead giveaway– it’s a series of vignettes about customers in a tea shop. Most of the vignettes conclude with the tea shop owner providing the customers with some sage words and a perfect cup of tea. One ends with an anecdote about his son, who is away on important business.) Zuko writes back to his uncle, stating that he enjoyed the tea shop story the most.

Sokka and Aang sleep well into the afternoon. Zuko remains undisturbed until dinner, when Sokka finds him. “One of your servants asked if you would prefer to take dinner in your study,” he says, instead of a greeting. “And then Aang decided that I should check with you.”

“Sleep well?” Zuko asks.

“Better than I have in days,” Sokka answers, stifling a yawn. 

“I’m glad,” Zuko says. “Dinner, then?”

Sokka nods. “Aang is planning to head out after.”

Dinner is short and purposeful. Aang remains relatively quiet, which is unusual– especially prior to traveling alone. Zuko tries not to read too much into it. Both he and Sokka have had a strange day, traveling and sleeping at odd hours. Once he and Sokka send Aang off, the fire lord retires for the evening. If Sokka expects something different, he doesn’t show it. He knows he’ll be up late, Zuko reasons.

The next morning, Zuko finds Sokka in the dining hall. He scribbles something on one of a few papers in front of him. An over-steeped tea cup sits to the left of him. Zuko picks up the forgotten cup, looking over Sokka’s shoulder as he warms the tea.

“Morning,” Sokka says. “Just figuring out some logistics stuff.”

“Think I don’t have that covered?” Zuko says. He tastes Sokka’s tea and grimaces. “You take this way too sweet.”

“And how should I take my tea, master fire lord?” Sokka asks as Zuko sets the cup back down.

“Did you sleep?” Zuko sits down next to Sokka. 

“A bit,” Sokka says. He glances at Zuko. “It’ll balance itself out tonight. Don’t worry.”

Zuko nods at Sokka’s papers. “What logistics have I neglected to cover?”

“You don’t know what travel snacks I want,” Sokka says. “I’m going out to run a few errands this morning.”

Zuko only shakes his head. Sokka’s mood improves once he’s fed. When he invites Zuko to accompany him, and Zuko has to decline, Sokka’s shoulders slump in disappointment. 

“Don’t you get bored of this?” Sokka asks. “Can’t we just say I’m your guard or whatever? I was trained by a master swordsman of the Fire Nation, remember.”

The fire lord grins. Lowering his voice, he says, “How do you think I’m being allowed to leave for Ember Island without a guard tomorrow?”

“Fine, fine,” Sokka relents.

Once Sokka returns, the afternoon is spent packing. Or, Zuko spends the afternoon packing, while Sokka watches him. “Is everything always this last minute?” he asks the fire lord. “Is this how your nation runs?”

“I could have waited until tomorrow morning,” Zuko says. Scanning his walk-in wardrobe, he mutters, “I have too many clothes anyway.” 

“What exactly do you need this many clothes for?” Sokka calls.

Zuko returns to the doorway and crosses his arms. “Depends how often we’re out and about,” he says. “There’s a chance we’ll be invited to somewhat formal events. Well, them inviting me would make it formal.”

Sokka has been laying on Zuko’s bed, his feet dangerously close to the fire lord’s pillows. He narrows his gaze. “We don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to go,” he says. “Unless there’s free food. But I am very entertaining, as you know.”

“All the food is free to you.” Zuko leans on the doorway. He revels in the casual atmosphere, one that he thought would take more effort to create. Sokka had flopped on his bed as soon and pulled his hair free of the wolf tail he kept it in. It had taken everything in Zuko to begin packing and not to ruffle Sokka’s hair. This trip wasn’t the best idea, Zuko thinks to himself. Though it’s not the worst impulse he’s given into. 

“I tried,” Sokka says with a shrug.

“Also,” Zuko says, “another last minute detail. Balloon or boat?”

“I can’t believe you,” Sokka says. He holds his head in his hands and rubs his temples. “Are you asking if I want to take a war balloon to Ember Island?”

“They aren’t war balloons if there’s no war,” Zuko answers.

“What would be faster?” Sokka asks.

The fire lord shrugs. “Balloon,” he admits reluctantly.

“Balloon, then,” Sokka concedes.

The following morning, Sokka knocks on Zuko’s chamber doors bright and early. He’s brought a pear for Zuko, and they eat out on the fire lord’s balcony.

“You’re flying the balloon,” Sokka informs him.

“You’re in charge of this trip now?” Zuko says.

“And leave the logistics up to you?” Sokka says. “No, thanks.”

The fire lord smirks. “And your plans for Boiling Rock were–”

“Completely different circumstances,” Sokka says. “Besides, I’m making dinner tonight.”

“Oh?” Zuko waits for Sokka to clarify his logic.

“You invited me on this trip,” Sokka says. “It’s a family tradition for you. I was thinking about how the tribe honors solstices. But I didn’t want to do something on the actual solstice, lest I ruin a sacred Fire Nation tradition. So, I’m making dinner.”

Zuko looks at him, speechless.

“Did you think I only went out to get snacks?” Sokka says. “You really do need a vacation. Clear up all the political busywork in that head of yours.”

“It’s not–” Zuko protests.

Sokka rolls his eyes. “I know. C’mon, we have got to get you out of here.”

Within the hour, they’re off the ground. Flying the balloon takes most of Zuko’s concentration. It’s been a while since he’s done something that requires so much physical attention and presence. The fire lord laughs to himself.

“What?” Sokka asks.

“It’s funny,” Zuko says. “Flying this balloon? It’s kind of grounding.”

Sokka stares at him. “You gotta know that prefacing a joke with ‘it’s funny’ means it’s not funny, right?”

“Don’t distract me,” Zuko chides, glancing at Sokka.

“I’ll burn your food,” Sokka mutters.

“How’d you know that was an ancient solstice tradition?”

That gets a laugh out of Sokka. 

Sokka’s dinner plans ease Zuko’s anxiety. They have so much time, and he didn’t think about how to fill it, really. Sokka shoos Zuko from the kitchen when he wants to prepare dinner, but not before asking one question. “Dinner inside or outside?”

“Outside?” Zuko offers.

Sokka nods. “I do prefer cooking over a fire. Okay. I’ll do some prep here, and then let you know when I need your firebending.”

Zuko heads out to the beach, and swims until Sokka calls him to shore. Dinner is simple but delicious: Sokka has prepared kabobs to roast with a variety of vegetables, meat and fish. Zuko starts the fire, then excuses himself to head back to the house. He returns with a bottle of Fire Nation wine, a dry red that Sokka once remarked was the best wine he’d ever had. They dine on the beach as the sun sets, passing the bottle between them. 

Neither of them are drunk, but they certainly aren’t sober either.

Sokka stares at his feet, focusing on the way the sand feels when he moves his toes. He and Zuko are too close, sitting on this blanket in the sand. Warmth has spread throughout Sokka’s body. He tells himself it’s the alcohol– that combined with the fire that Zuko lit.

Zuko lies down, his head inches from Sokka’s legs. Sokka stares at him, but Zuko looks up, his gaze focused beyond Sokka. “Been a while since I’ve seen the stars like this,” he says. 

Sokka is trying to decide if he should lie down next to Zuko, or do something else entirely. He’s not used to feeling this uncertain. Not that there’s a lot of doubt– 

Zuko shifts his gaze to Sokka. “Hey,” he says. “You said you were gonna tell me something. Remember?”

Of course Sokka remembers. “Yeah,” he says. This is a potential direction that Sokka didn’t anticipate. He hugs his knees to his chest.

“What you were projecting about,” Zuko prompts.

“Yeah, I– ” Sokka fumbles for words. “I didn’t expect marriage to be like a big theme? For you, with your answer, I mean.” He stops, not meeting Zuko’s eyes. “Shit. I didn’t want to start there. But, uh, I kind of left out the main reason Suki and I broke up– ”

“She didn’t want to get married?” Zuko asks. He sits up. More hesitantly, he says, “You didn’t want to get married?”

“We didn’t exactly get that far,” Sokka responds. He pulls his knees in even closer, his grip around his own legs tightening. Staring at the fire, Sokka speaks deliberately. “Suki wants kids. Children. A Perfectly normal desire. But I can’t– ” He takes a shaky breath. “I can’t do that for her.”

Zuko is silent. It feels like an eternity for Sokka, and he refuses to look away from the fire. Tears well in his eyes. So much for having a handle on things. He doesn’t want to cry. Not about this. Not in front of Zuko. None of it. 

“How do you mean?” Zuko asks, his voice barely above a whisper. “Sokka,” he says when he sees Sokka’s eyes glistening. “I want to . . . understand.”

Sokka rubs his eyes. He turns so that his body faces Zuko, but he can’t bring himself to meet Zuko’s gaze. “I’m not like you,” Sokka says. A hot tear rolls down his face. Fuck. Why can’t he reign it in? “I’m not built like you,” he elaborates. “Everything masculine about me? A spirit did that for me.”

“Everything?” Zuko echoes.

Sokka nods, still averting Zuko’s gaze.

“But,” Zuko says, “Sokka, you’re you.”

“What?” Sokka finally looks at him.

“A spirit didn’t make you who you are,” Zuko says. His tone remains hesitant. “And spirits don’t grant human wishes lightly.”

“Right,” Sokka murmurs, though he isn’t sure if he has been clear enough.

“I think I understand,” Zuko says. “If you don’t want to talk about this anymore.” He pauses for a moment, and then adds, “What happened with Suki, I mean.” After another beat, he says, “We can talk about whatever you want to talk about.”

Sokka lets out a small laugh. Zuko’s shoulders relax.

“I can talk about it,” Sokka says. His voice still wavers, despite his declaration. “Suki wanted that. And it’s not like it was a low effort relationship, with all that traveling, and being apart for long periods of time. It makes sense.” 

Zuko watches Sokka, wishing he knew what to say. He should say something, or do something. He’s never seen Sokka so upset before, in this deeply personal way.

“I don’t like it,” Sokka says. “The reason. That it came down to this.” He gestures to his abdomen. “But it’s not worth it to think about lives I can’t live.”

“No,” Zuko says, “it isn’t.” He hesitates for a moment longer, and then Zuko puts his arms around Sokka, pulling him close, holding him. Sokka sinks into the embrace. Whatever control he might’ve had over his tears melts away. At least this way Zuko can’t see him. 

Katara hugged Sokka when she found out, too. He thought that time would be all. That he would cry in front of her because he could, and then he would be done, his emotions expelled. But that was when Katara was the only one that knew.

Sokka pulls back, and focuses on his breathing. Zuko has moved to hold one of Sokka’s hands in his. “Sorry for crying on your royal tunic,” Sokka says.

Zuko laughs, and squeezes his hand gently. “I’m not very good at saying the right things.”

When Sokka glances at Zuko, the fire lord’s expression startles him. Zuko tends to look at him kindly, but this is different. A new level of warmth, a fierce tenderness. Katara was right. This is so dumb, Sokka thinks. He shakes his head. “Stop that,” he mutters. With his free hand, Sokka cups Zuko’s chin, pulling Zuko towards him. He kisses Zuko softly. Sokka keeps it brief. His doubts, if any, are about timing. 

Surprise flickers across Zuko’s eyes, fondness soon following. “You sure about that?”

“Spirits,” Sokka says. “If anyone’s asking that, it should be me asking you.”

“You want to know, Sokka?” He lets go of Sokka’s hand to pull him back in. Any hesitance left between them vanishes. Sokka entangles his fingers in Zuko’s hair, and Zuko holds Sokka tightly, his hands pressing into Sokka’s back as if their bodies can't get close enough.

“Clear everything up for you?” Zuko asks when they break apart.

Sokka runs a finger along Zuko’s jawline. “Might still be a little fuzzy on some things, if you care to clarify further.”

Zuko laughs. “Spirits,” he mutters, and he kisses Sokka again.


	6. Sustained Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day of the Ember Island mundane. Zuko gets called out on how obvious his feelings have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait after putting out the first few chapters so rapidly. hope you enjoy!
> 
> (as per my usual, no beta reader; if something doesn't make sense lemme know)

Sokka still can’t quite believe it. When he wakes up next to Zuko, he wonders if Zuko will still be sure, or what Zuko’s certainty means. What any of it means. Zuko hasn’t processed what Sokka told him, not on his own. Sokka never considered . . . he had considered all angles with Suki, of course. But what could have prepared him properly for this? Even with Zuko’s obvious interest.

As his thoughts begin to race, Sokka feels an odd sort of presence pushing on his mind. He doesn’t remember any sort of dream. 

_Rest_.

While he’s awake? Sokka glances around the bedroom, seeing if the spirit chooses a physical form. He finds nothing out of the ordinary. 

_Rest your mind. Do not deprive yourself of your own joy._

Sokka wonders why the spirit has chosen to follow him so closely. He feels the worry leave his body, and his gaze slides towards a sleeping Zuko. The fire lord has one arm around him. Sokka smiles and pulls Zuko closer. After some time, he drifts back to sleep.

A loud knocking wakes them. Midday sun spills into the room. Zuko yawns. “I’ll take care of it,” he mutters. He throws on a shirt, pulls his hair into a messy top knot, and heads to the front door. A messenger presents him with a small scroll. Zuko tips them, and sends them on their way.

“Who was it?” Sokka asks when Zuko returns.

Zuko sits on the bed and opens the scroll. “Invitation,” Zuko says, scanning the contents. “From Mai. Solstice day celebration.”

“Tomorrow?” Sokka asks.

“Tomorrow,” Zuko confirms. He sets the scroll on the bedside table and crawls back over to Sokka. “What do you want to do today?”

Sokka stretches, considering his options. “Kind of into the idea of a lazy day,” he says. “And then heading out in the evening. What’s there to do around here? Besides catch a play.”

“There’s an island tavern,” Zuko says. “Haven’t really been there. Father always said it was for the common folk. Probably would have to go into town to get more of an idea.” He thinks for a moment. “I’ll do that whenever we get hungry.”

“You want me to come with?” Sokka asks.

“I don’t mind,” Zuko says. “Besides, when’s the last time I got to walk around in a town alone?” He gives Sokka a quick kiss on the forehead. “I’m gonna make us tea.”

Sokka smiles as he watches Zuko leave. Though this is new to both of them, it feels easy. He has a lot of questions for Zuko. Some of them are fun, but some are serious. All of them can wait. Sokka dresses and leaves the room just as Zuko steps out of the kitchen, tray in hand. The tray has not only tea, but slices of mango, papaya and dragonfruit. 

“What do you think about sitting on the porch?” Zuko asks.

“Sounds perfect,” Sokka says, and he opens the front door for Zuko. 

Zuko sets the tray down on the small table between the chairs. He pours the tea out for them. They sit in silence for a moment. “Do you want to talk about . . .” Zuko trails off.

“Sure?” Sokka says, laughing. He shakes his head. “Why is this awkward?” Looking at the tray, he adds, “You prepared breakfast. You, the fire lord. Plated breakfast. Three kinds of fruit.”

Zuko smiles, the faintest blush rising to his face. “Don’t make a thing of it,” he says. “I don’t care for being waited on. You know that.”

“How long have you liked me?” Sokka asks.

Zuko’s amber gaze flits to meet Sokka’s. The blush on his face becomes more pronounced. “How obvious was it?” he asks.

“Like I would know,” Sokka said. “I visited for the first time in years like a week ago.”

“Fair point.” Zuko’s eyes narrow. “Uh, a while?”

Sokka rolls his eyes. “Very specific.”

“What about you?” Zuko counters. He takes a sip of tea, and then adds quietly, “I didn’t realize it. . . I don’t think my mind let me think about it for a while. In like a conscious way.”

Sokka considers that as he eats a piece of papaya. “Fire Nation’s very particular about things,” he says. “I tend to forget that.”

Zuko nods.

“I gained a lot of respect for you at Boiling Rock,” Sokka says. “I’m not good at. . . feelings? Like telling what they mean. If it’s like a friend thing, or– ”

“You dated Suki for a long time,” Zuko says.

“Yeah,” Sokka says, “But I don’t know if that would’ve happened if Suki hadn’t been interested in dating. Does that make any sense?”

The fire lord is silent.

Sokka sighs, realizing Zuko must be misinterpreting what he means. “It’s not that my feelings weren’t significant for Suki,” he says. “They were very strong. It’s more that she wanted a type of relationship and I was okay with that. But I probably wouldn’t have pressed for it. For a lot of different reasons, honestly. The beginning of our relationship was kind of strange.” Sokka thinks about how he had told Suki after she had him dress in Kyoshi warrior garb. He hadn’t expected her to get it, or for any interest in him to remain.

Zuko still doesn’t say anything. He’s listening, but his gaze is distant. 

Sokka decides to try again. “How do you think about marriage?” he asks. 

Zuko’s eyes focus on him again. “What do you mean?”

“Is it an inherently romantic thing for you?” Sokka says, like he understands what the phrase ‘inherently romantic’ means. 

“That strikes me as a sort of luxury that royalty can’t have,” Zuko says. 

“Okay,” Sokka says. Zuko has given him something to work with, maybe. “So marriage being as inevitable for you as it seems, then how do you think about a potential spouse? Do you want a confidant? A companion? Or, like, I don’t know, a political partner? I don’t really know what I’m talking about here, clearly.”

“A friend,” Zuko says decisively. “A friend who doesn’t have to leave.” He refuses to meet Sokka’s gaze once again. “Which is terribly selfish.”

“No, it’s not,” Sokka says. “Wanting something like that isn’t selfish.” He pauses, remembering the point he was trying to make. “It doesn’t sound romantic. Or like it has to be romantic.”

Something like relief flashes across Zuko’s eyes.

“Sorry,” Sokka says. “I think I just make things complicated.”

“No,” Zuko says immediately. “I think. . . there were a number of things with Mai that didn’t make sense.”

“Oh.” That isn’t a response Sokka anticipated. He hadn’t seen much of Zuko’s relationship with Mai, save for her appearance at Boiling Rock. But that hadn’t been much to go on. “Still, I don’t want to be stressing you out on your vacation.”

Zuko let out a laugh. “You’re not stressing me out.”

“I assumed that this was going to be a ‘define the relationship’ conversation,” Sokka says, his tone apologetic. 

“More of a check-in,” Zuko answers. “You shared a lot last night, and I wanted to make sure that was. . . okay? With you.”

“Oh. Yeah?” Sokka doesn’t intend for the answer to come out sounding like a question, but that’s exactly what happens. “You were gonna learn at some point, I figured. Usually I’m not crying over my ex-girlfriend when I tell people.”

“I was worried I had forced you to tell me sooner than you were comfortable,” Zuko says. The sentence comes out hurriedly.

Sokka shakes his head, smiling. “Nothing made me feel that way.” He regards Zuko warmly. “You can ask questions, too. Whenever you have them.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfor–” Zuko starts, but Sokka cuts him off.

“I trust you, Zuko,” Sokka says “in conversation and otherwise. So don’t worry about it.”

“Okay,” Zuko says. “Thank you.”

Sokka waves the words away. “And you’ve improved,” he says. “I could have explained everything with Suki and gotten another ‘that’s rough, buddy.’”

“Shut up,” Zuko mutters.

“You gonna make me?”

“Not right now,” Zuko says. When he sees disappointment flash across Sokka’s face, he grins. “Later.”

After breakfast, Zuko heads into town. His errands are mainly food-related, as he’s decided it’s his turn to make dinner for them. In the market, Zuko picks up noodles, beef, and an assortment of vegetables. When he’s at a fruit stall looking for dessert, Zuko hears his name. Turning, he sees Mai.

She gives him a brief side-hug. “Hey,” she says. “When did you get in?”

“Yesterday,” Zuko says. “Got your invite.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Mai asks. When Zuko nods, she says, “Bringing anyone?”

He bites his lip. “Sokka.”

Nothing gets past Mai. “That water tribe guy?” she says. Again, Zuko nods. “Finally.”

“What?”

Mai rolls her eyes. “You talked about him a lot.”

This observation shouldn’t be as unsettling to Zuko as it is. “Oh,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t–”

“This is what I think it is, right?” Mai says. “If you’re that surprised, then I have to ask.”

“Yeah,” Zuko says. “You’re just the second person today to tell me that it was really obvious.”

A hint of a smile appears on Mai’s face. “Because it was,” she says. Reconsidering for a moment, she adds, “Well, maybe not to straight people.”

“Maybe not, “ Zuko echoes, unconvinced.

Mai punches him lightly on the shoulder. “I look forward to seeing you both tomorrow.”

“Likewise,” Zuko says, but she’s already walking down the street. Mai is never that direct, but the sentiment seems genuine. Regardless, Zuko decides that he and Sokka will find something to do in town another day, lest the fire lord runs into someone he knows.

  
  


Sokka walks into the dining room as Zuko is plating dinner. For the final touch, Zuko brings out the wine he had packed. 

“I could get used to this,” Sokka says. Nodding to the table, he says, “Am I allowed to sit yet, or is there something else you plan on bringing out?”

“You can sit,” Zuko says. “Get used to what?”

Sokka takes a seat and gestures to the steaming bowls of noodles. “Being properly courted by a prince.”

“I’m not a prince anymore,” Zuko says, but he still blushes.

Sokka shrugs. “You could be my prince.”

Zuko, still standing, watches him. “Why?” he asks, embarrassed but smiling nonetheless. 

“You’re cute,” Sokka says. “When you blush? Wow, look at you.”

Zuko remains standing. He doesn’t know what to say.

“Please take a seat, my prince,” Sokka says. “We wouldn’t want this delicious meal to get cold. . . especially when it was made with. . . honor.”

“Stop it,” Zuko says, but he sits down.

They both find dinner to be wonderfully mundane. Zuko asks Sokka about his day, and Sokka describes, in detail, every creature he saw on his afternoon walk on the beach. He says he tried to paint some of them, but wasn’t quite able to hold them in his mind– “I wasn’t going to bring a sea slug in the house, don’t worry.” Zuko asks if Sokka wants to paint out on the beach, and offers to help him with the subjects he wishes to paint. Sokka laughs, considering he might take Zuko up on the offer just to see him try to hold a sea creature. What Sokka hasn’t figured out is why Fire Nation people like Ember Island, why they would want to be so close to water. But as they finish eating, he turns the conversation over to Zuko instead, and learns of Zuko running into Mai. 

“That obvious, huh?” Sokka says, as they clear their dishes. They’ve made it to a second bottle of wine. “Is that why you broke up?”

“Seemed more mutual than something like that,” Zuko says, but he hasn’t thought about his break-up with Mai in a long time. He follows Sokka out to the living room with their wine glasses. “She had a thing with Ty Lee, I think. Before she moved out of the city.”

“Oh,” Sokka says in understanding, as they sit on the couch. “Probably was mutual, to her.”

“Huh?”

“Like, she liked Ty Lee and she thought that you liked me,” Sokka says.

Zuko stares at him. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he says slowly. “That was years ago.”

“I knew it,” Sokka says. “You had it bad. This whole time.”

“You did not.”

“Did too!” Sokka leans closer to Zuko. “All those walks in the garden.”

“Not that many,” Zuko says. “Only once–”

“–every visit,” Sokka interjects.

“Okay, okay,” Zuko says, holding his hands up in surrender. “It was obvious to everyone, except me.”

Sokka puts his palms to Zuko’s, and they intertwine their fingers.

“What about you?” Zuko asks. “Or are you a master at hiding your feelings?”

A laugh tumbles out of Sokka’s mouth, and he drops Zuko’s hands. “No,” he says. “If Katara’s around? I can’t hide at all.”

“She knew?” Zuko asks.

Sokka nods. “She didn’t say much. Until this trip came up, really. And then she disclosed all of her observations to her boyfriend–”

“Aang knew?” Zuko says. “No wonder that dinner was so strange.”

“Surprised he managed not to say anything,” Sokka says. He yawns, and unties his hair. “Anyway, yeah, Katara knows something’s up if I’m spending a lot of time with someone one-on-one. I have a low tolerance for that if I’m not that invested.”

Zuko nods. He tries to think of something to say, but seeing Sokka with his hair down is not a regular enough occurrence for him to be unaffected.

Sokka watches him, waiting. He’s not going to help Zuko out this time, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get impatient. “What?” Sokka asks, smiling innocently. 

“Nothing,” Zuko says. In a lower tone, he mumbles, “You’re cute, s’all.”

“Zuko,” Sokka says, and he leans forward again. “You’re looking at me like you want to kiss me, but you’re not kissing me, so I don’t–”

Zuko’s not about to let Sokka finish that sentence. He meets Sokka’s advance, putting a hand on his neck and running it up through his hair. He can feel Sokka smiling while he’s kissing him, in a way that’s almost smug. Then Sokka bites Zuko’s lip– firm, but gentle– and Zuko pulls Sokka’s hair– because that wasn’t fair, taunting him and then doing _that_ – and then Sokka’s on top of him, his hips pressing into Zuko in a way that feels a different sort of unfair altogether. 

They stay entangled like that, and the only coherent thoughts Zuko manages to think, besides identifying actions and reactions as new and unfair– to him– is that nothing with Mai had made any sense. Not like this. Not with how he’s feeling now. They had made _a_ sense, sure, but he’d never felt this energy with Mai, never been met with such eagerness. The sensation of Sokka’s hands on his neck makes his breath catch in a way that Zuko has never experienced. It’s then that Sokka almost laughs.

“You’re funny,” he tells Zuko, a haze in his blue eyes.

“Why’s that?” Zuko asks.

He feels Sokka shrug against him. “It’s like. . . you’re so obvious about everything. It’s written all over your face. But then you’re more hesitant than I expect you to be,” Sokka says. “Looking at me like that, I mean.”

Zuko runs his fingers through Sokka’s hair, thinking. 

“If you want to kiss me, you should just kiss me,” Sokka says into the crook of Zuko’s neck. “Because I want to kiss you. Dumbass.”

“Oh, really?” Zuko murmurs.

“Don’t pull this shit with me, Zuko.” Sokka knows what he’s doing, and he’s enjoying every moment of it. 

“Hmm?” Zuko tilts Sokka’s chin up towards him. “Which shit?” he asks, and kisses Sokka’s cheek. “This?” He kisses Sokka’s nose. “Or this?” he asks, returning to Sokka’s jawline, where he plants two soft kisses, and lets the slightest hit of teeth scrape Sokka’s jaw in the third.

Sokka grabs Zuko’s wrist, pinning it back. “You’re the worst,” he says.

“But you love me.” The words are out of Zuko’s mouth before he realizes what he’s said.

Sokka’s eyes go wide for a moment. He bites his lip. “Yeah,” he says. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sokka says as he settles back, pulling Zuko’s arm around him. He squeezes Zuko tightly. Zuko smiles, pleased with how comfortable Sokka looks in his arms. Soon enough, they both drift off to sleep, still holding one another.


End file.
